I was looking though a bin of used books recently when I noticed one entitled Are Men Necessary? by syndicated columnist Maureen Dowd. “Ha,” I thought, “so long as spiders get into bathtubs, men will be necessary.” Since it was only $2.99, I went ahead and bought it, just to see where we currently stand in the age-old battle of the sexes.
The book is about as appealing to me as knitting. Like yarn, it’s sort of “fuzzy” and like knitting it is put together in an incomprehensible way (incomprehensible, at least, to a man). But it was interesting to read about how this experienced and respected writer, who has taken on many of the most powerful men in our government, wilted in the lobby of a hotel in Saudi Arabia. She was there to interview a Saudi VIP and thought she was dressed appropriately, wearing a pink dress and matching head scarf. But apparently no one in Saudi Arabia has ever seen the color pink in public before. The recriminating looks of the men in the lobby caused Ms. Dowd to flee back to her room and change into a burqua.
Ms. Dowd commented, “With the loss of interest in the abilities of women, the cradle of civilization … fell behind economically and culturally, simply proving that societies need the participation of women to prosper in every way.”
Her remark reminded me of stories I’ve read about the first settlers in the Boone County area. Many of the men who came here to “stake their claim” were perfectly content to sleep under their wagons at night. But they knew full well this would never suit their wives. And so they built sod houses and dugouts so they could bring their families here.
Soddies weren’t much better than living under a wagon. They were overrun in the late summer by bed bugs (as were Native American earthlodges). Earthworms would fall from the ceiling whenever and wherever they pleased. And sod houses tended to dissolve in heavy rain.
It was every woman’s dream to live in a wood frame house, and so the men hauled lumber from Columbus. Women made their families’ clothing, so they had to have access to cloth. Women cooked the meals, so they had to have access to more than prairie turnips and corn meal. And so general stores soon appeared.
With her husband in the field and no close neighbors, women grew lonely. Men would buy their wives birds to keep them company. This didn’t always help — many pioneer women actually had nervous breakdowns. Those women not content with a bird and small children for company began forming societies — reading groups, music clubs, sewing circles, church guilds.
It was the women who “civilized” the Plains — had it been left to the men, we’d still be living under wagons. It was the influence of the women and their concern for their children’s well-being that led to wood-frame housing, the proliferation of schools, improvements in sanitation and health care, and the growth of a diverse retail sector.
Not that men weren’t necessary, but women’s and their families’ needs were the driving force behind the development of the Great Plains. It was women who “knitted” the fabric of society together, sometimes in ways incomprehensible to men.
As readers of this column know, I’m a strong advocate of applying the lessons of the past in dealing with the future. The pioneers faced far greater challenges in settling this region than we face in revitalizing it, but neither task is simple. By reflecting on the vision that drove the original pioneers, by remembering how hard they worked and what they accomplished, we can find inspiration for today.
One primary lesson of the pioneers is the importance of women. In my last column I mentioned how rural areas are losing people ages 25 to 49 — people raising families. This is resulting in a rural “baby bust” — 20 years from now there will be no one left. With last year’s increase in births at Boone County Health Center this area is bucking the trend, but overall, rural births are a cause for concern.
To reverse this sobering trend rural areas need to become as “family friendly” as possible. To do this, we need to pay every bit as much attention to the needs and concerns of women as we do to attracting new businesses.
People are “consumers of place” and women make most of the decisions regarding where their family lives. We can’t make the mistake the Arab world has and not include women in our “re-pioneering“ efforts. Ms. Dowd is right — “societies need the participation of women to prosper.”
The Arts Council recently got a phone call from Connor Snyder, the woman who played “Nurse Abel” on the old M*A*S*H TV show. She’s very active in helping children learn about acting and was calling to see if there would be interest in this area for an after-school workshop. She mentioned that in addition to having been Nurse Abel she has also been a writer/producer for HBO.
That same day I received an email from one of this season’s artists, Jill Anderson of Omaha. In it she was commenting on the shift taking place in TV programming. She mentioned that practically every show on HBO and other cable channels is now about a strong and intelligent woman “who faces serious challenges and obstacles and succeeds in one way or another.”
Women are portrayed a lot differently today than in the days of M*A*S*H and this of course reflects their changing role in society. In the old days independent women like Mary Tyler Moore were the exception. Now they’re the rule.
Lori and I had the good fortune to have lunch last month with Jane Heany who has strong ties to this area. She now works with the NU Foundation and started our conversation by saying very proudly “We’re taking over!”
She was referring of course to women and went on to explain that since women outlive men, affluent older women are now responsible for 4 out of every 5 major charitable contributions. Thus, organizations that promote women’s values and priorities are being funded like never before.
And while being the focus of cable TV shows and our society’s primary philanthropists may not technically constitute “taking over”, consider that without widespread and increasing intervention to boost male graduation rates, 2 out of every 3 college graduates today would be female. And the trend of more women completing their education than men only seems to be accelerating.
This is going to have a major influence on the business world. Already women make up half of the workforce. But despite their equal representation, during the current economic crisis only 20% of lost jobs have been women’s.
Some of this is due to the fact that fields such as construction, manufacturing and finance — male dominated fields — have been the hardest hit. And some is due to the fact that women are still paid less than men, making the higher-paid males the first to go. But it’s also believed that women’s values have a lot to do with this. Author Catherine Kaputa recently pointed out that women’s management styles are more collaborative, and this is proving important in holding things together during trying times.
In previous columns I’ve discussed criticism of the Women’s Movement; some authors assert that women have had to sacrifice their “femininity,” adopting masculine values and aggressiveness in order to compete with men. But as layoff rates are showing, feminine values are proving their worth. Women’s talents are proving valuable in keeping businesses together.
With women graduating at twice the rate of men, their influence in both politics and economics will only grow.
And it isn’t just in America where women are exerting a greater and greater influence on society. This past summer’s uprisings in Iran and western China against oppression and injustice have been led by women (and violently put down by men). On the economic side, Muhammad Yunus won the Nobel Peace Prize in 2006 for his innovative and successful practice of making micro loans to impoverished women in Third World countries (the practice has now even spread to Omaha). Women in all parts of the world are starting their own small businesses, and families are rising out of poverty as a result.
There is a “Pink Revolution” taking place around the globe. Women are impacting society like never before. And as my father once observed, “This is a good thing. Women can’t do any worse than we men have, and may well do considerably better.”
In talking with the UNL architecture students — many of whom are women — I’ve tried to stress that in envisioning the future of this area we all need to consider the importance of women. Women most often make the decisions as to where their family should live and are on track to outnumber men in many professions. By thinking about women’s concerns — childcare, schools, healthcare, churches, eldercare and green spaces — we can make our communities more and more attractive to professional, entrepreneurial women, women who will do much to help us “re-pioneer” tomorrow.