When I was growing up in the 60s and 70s there was a lot of social turmoil. There were anti-war protests by college students, blacks were marching for civil rights and women were demanding access to careers outside the home. And though blacks still have a long way to go, the Vietnam War ended and the role of women in society changed dramatically. Where once their career options were largely limited to being a nurse, secretary or teacher, today women can pursue any career they want.

Among the traditionally male careers women have entered are some very dangerous ones, including soldier, firefighter and policeman. And in the decades since they first entered these professions, women have proven their worth.

Though they are supposed to be kept from combat, the ill-defined battle fronts in Iraq and Afghanistan placed a lot of women in harm’s way. 144 died – 20 of whom had children — and many more were injured. A quick look at law enforcement officers killed since 1960 reveals that about three dozen were women, including most recently, 29-year-old Omaha policewoman Kerrie Orozco who was shot by a wanted gang member on May 20^th.

The media has been full of information about Ms. Orozco. The stepmother of two, Kerrie had given birth prematurely in February but had put off taking maternity leave until her baby was well enough to come home. This homecoming was supposed to happen the day after she was killed by a bullet that struck just above her protective vest.

It’s always tragic when someone dies in the line of duty, but when it’s a young mother who was active in her community it especially catches the public’s attention. As well it should – mothers are, well, mothers and have a special place in life and society.

If Kerrie Orozco had been forced to confront a violent gang member before her premature baby had even come home from the hospital the country – and large parts of the world – would be outraged. But from all accounts Orozco loved her work and wanted to go back to it as soon as she could. Being a policewoman was her choice; she knew the dangers and it was her decision to make this profession her line of work.

There was a time when the prospect of a young mother participating in anything as dangerous as arresting fugitives would have been unthinkable. And it’s hard to escape the instinctive feeling that mothers shouldn’t be in these situations.

But what should be done? Should our society reverse course and prevent women from serving in jobs that could endanger them? What about jobs with a dangerous working environment, including farm work? Or what about working in areas that are dangerous, even if their job itself isn’t?

And who exactly gets to decide which jobs women can and can’t have? Voters? Politicians? Men? Where is the line between what women can and can’t do drawn? These are questions women have been asking since at least the early 1800s and though it’s taken time to emerge, the answer has been that women – like men – are entitled to make their own decisions rather than have society decide for them.

Nothing in life is clear-cut – women have to weigh even more factors when choosing a career path than men do. Kerrie Orozco made the choice to serve her community knowing there were risks. And while it’s tragic that those risks claimed her life, it would have been tragic in another way had the freedom to make her own choices been denied her simply because she was a woman.

Another Mother’s Day has come and gone and the rankings are in. This year’s winner was Clara Hasenpfeffer of Moose Liver Falls, Maine. Clara gave birth to twins on Mother’s Day yet still managed to do the laundry and vacuuming, cook dinner for her mother and knit matching onesies for the new babies.

Clara’s victory was a bitter pill to swallow. My sons William and Thomas and I had vowed that we’d do everything we could to make sure their mother, Lori, won this year after her disappointing 5^th place finish the year before. We’d supported Lori last year, but hadn’t done enough. So this year we started planning weeks in advance and had Lori’s Mother’s Day itinerary worked out to the smallest detail. We set her alarm for 4 a.m. so she would have plenty of time to make us a great breakfast, complete with freshly churned butter and maple syrup tapped from the neighbor’s tree.

Unfortunately, she slept right through the alarm so there was no breakfast. And to make matters worse, she not only couldn’t find the syrup tap, she couldn’t even find the butter churn.

But the day was young and we still had hope. We’d left our dirty clothes all over the house so Lori could collect and launder them. We urged her to earn bonus points by using a washboard again this year to make sure they were really clean, but, like the butter churn, the washboard had gone missing since last Mother’s Day too.

Next it was time for her to spade up the garden. Strangest thing, though, the spade was missing. I knew that moms get points for being organized, and I was afraid that not knowing where the tools of her trade were would damage Lori’s score.

Since she couldn’t do the garden we urged her to mow the lawn, but the gas can was gone. So we moved on to cleaning out the eave troughs but dang it, the ladder was missing too. And things just went downhill from there. She couldn’t find her sewing kit so there went making a quilt depicting the inaugurations of all the presidents. And she couldn’t find her pruning shears so there was no chance of her trimming the rose bushes so they’d look like a family of aardvarks.

Finally, it was time to make Mother’s Day dinner. I figured she could earn a lot of points there (and she needed them – she hadn’t accomplished anything all day). But the stove wouldn’t light — apparently, no one paid the gas bill this month.

Being quite hungry by then we did the only thing we could and went out for dinner. And boy were we surprised – there were mothers everywhere! Doesn’t anyone care about being a good mom anymore? None of these women cooked dinner for their families on the one day every mom is supposed to do her very best. Worse yet, none of these mothers appeared to feel even a little bit guilty about it.

Just what is this world coming to?

Lori finished dead last this year – no surprise since she didn’t accomplish anything motherly. And honestly, as badly as things went this year, I don’t think we’ll even try to help her win next year. She can just do what she wants next Mother’s Day. If the guilt and shame of not being a good mother on Mother’s Day doesn’t bother her, the boys and I will just have to get used to eating out…