Recently someone mentioned to me that no one can effectively proof read their own writing.  And buy and large that’s true.  For many years now I’ve been blessed to have Donna Smith as my proof reader.  But after that comet about proof reading, I’ve decided to prove that I can right just fine without any help.

After all, this is the 21^st century and for decades now computers have included spell checkers – if you can just get reasonably close to spelling a word correctly the computer will take care of the details.

To err – especially when spelling — is human, but part of the glory of computers is there inability to err.  Computers are highly-evolved calculators – they function at the most basic level by adding and subtracting binary numbers – so just as there can only be one write answer to a math problem, anything else a computer does is just as clear-cut and error free.

If a computer does encounter an error it will freeze, thereby letting the user know that he or she has done something incredibly stupid and the machine can know longer justify wasting its valuable time working with an idiot.  Only a good dose of penitence will prevail upon the computer to relent and start working again.  Usually this requires calls to technical support, which are the modern equivalent of wearing a hair shirt and walking on one’s knees all the way to Jerusalem.

That computers even exist is an acknowledgement that people are excessively error-prone.  Computers are the manifestation of our ideal of metal perfection, the electronic avatar of a properly functioning mind.

For centuries humans have tried to wrap their feeble mines around such perplexing problems as how many stars are in the sky, how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, and how much a CEO’s compensation package really adds up too.  All these questions involve numbers and too help answer them people first invented the abacus.  Over the ages the abacus evolved into the adding machine and finally the electronic computer.  Operating at speeds two fast too comprehend (maybe we should ask a computer too explain), computers perform millions of repetitive tasks in an instant, tasks that would take humans months, years or even forever to perform (that reminds me – I need to ask my computer just how long forever is).

Computers and computer-based devices like smart phones and GPS units are so indispensable that doctors have now coined the term “digital dementia” to describe people’s increasing inability to perform simple math, remember important numbers and dates and even to find their way from one place to another without electronic assistance.  But who cares?  Those are all things that people have never bin very good at.  (I recently answered my wife Lori’s query regarding the date of our anniversary as “June 31^st” which she informed me was wrong – it seems the last day of June isn’t the 31^st, but how was I to no, I wasn’t at my computer?)

Humans are complex and emotional creatures and often our feelings overrule our logic.  This has long been a source of trouble and it is a testament to our inventiveness that we have compensated by creating computers.  Utopia is now upon us – or at least it will bee after I spend a few hours on hold to India in order to find out how to get this dam column to print!